A Post! Finally!

I'm a horrible blogger. Lately I think I am a horrible anything, but that's beside the point. I'm not good at consistently posting my thoughts on acting (or anything really).

That being said, not much has been happening for me acting wise in the past few months. I've auditioned to multiple shows with a callback here and there but ultimately I haven't been cast in anything. I am still waiting to hear about a few shows, so we shall see. My main trouble has been to even get audition slots. I guess there isn't much room in Chicago's theater world for young, white girls with limited experience. What a shocker! It seems a lot of the male actors I talk to don't have this trouble. As one friend said, "It's a totally different world for female actors." Amen to that.

Being a white, little girl in theater is probably the most generic type you can be. I am lucky enough to not have a more average hair color, but I am still a sugar cookie in an artisanal world of baking! When I go through auditions, if they aren't looking for men then it's African American females or older women. Or it's a fucking musical that also happens to be in the goddamn suburbs! Or or or or....

As much as I'm aware that there is a huge pool of talent that I am swimming in right now, I can't help but think that I'm doing something wrong. That my resume isn't good. (Which is true due to my lack of experience which I can't do anything about yet!)

I feel that I must suck as an actor or that my monologues don't show my potential. The latter I don't really think is true, but who knows about the former. As many Backstage articles I may read about auditioning and as many quotes I see from famous actors about "making it", it's still me who has to go into that audition and put it all into practice.

I haven't taken any classes since my last one because none have seemed right for me. The last one I think was a stupid mistake since it was on something I wasn't all that interested in and I had chose it basically to please the people who had suggested Acting Studio Chicago to me. Obviously, I didn't enjoy the class much. Another shocker! I also don't want to spend another $400+ on a class that may or may not help me. Until I find one that I am excited for and not just doing because everybody else tells me to, I will cynically hoard my $400 in my cigar box.

So maybe I'm fucking myself over and maybe I just have yet to find shows that need what I can offer. In the mean time, I will try to write my blog more often in anticipation for that lovely show that will once again take up all of my time. Oh the dreams I have!

-B