Starting out...

  I'm moving to Chicago in little more than a month to pursue my goal of acting and I'm bat-shit scared. Not about moving to the Windy City filled with potential crime and evils unknown. I'm a born and raised New Yorker. I'm a metropolitan warrior.

  I'm scared of acting. I'm scared of getting up there in front of anywhere from 1-20 people and showing them what I can do. I'm a good actor. I won't flatter myself to say I'm phenomenal and won't degrade myself by saying I'm horrid. I'm good. Better than some and worse than others. I accept that.

   I've seen a lot of blogs out there where the actors writing them are perkily nervous about their choice of a career. I see articles everywhere about how to be confident and the negative mental habits you need to get rid of to obtain success in acting. 

None of it helps. The fear remains (to be overly dramatic).

  All these screaming, cyber megaphones don't do shit for me. They complain about worries after graduating from elite BFA programs or non-degree acting studios with acclamations drizzled on top . Even if they come from the sticks of East Jesus, they seem to have this abounding positivity and excitement about their "craft". That's great for them. No sarcasm intended. I'm jealous of their enthusiasm.

But what about those of us who are scared? Where should we look for camaraderie? 

  I say, it's okay to be scared. No, it isn't ideal and hopefully one day all us scardy cats will evolve into confident butterflies. Until that day, we need to push onward. Fear can't cripple our endeavors or acting skills. Instead, it must be put to work and force us to shove all those doubts up someone else's butt. Act fiercely and scare the shit out of your fears.

   The goal of this blog is to slowly answer all the questions regarding acting and "the business" I've accrued over the years. I also want to hear from other scared actors (or reformed butterflies) about their experiences in starting out and staying in this business of theater. I will post semi weekly on Wednesdays about what I'm working on, avoiding, hating, and loving most recently in acting. So whether or not you come back for more, I'll be here. Scared as shit. 

So no pressure....just guilt.