What'd You Say Your Name Was Again?

So at a recent workshop, I was told by the teachers that my name was an issue. That agents/industry people would want me to change it to something easier to pronounce.

They weren't unkind. They were realistic and trying to be helpful.

My name is, after all, Bellisant Corcoran-Mathe. It's a zinger and I get why they brought it up. (The proper pronunciation sounds like Core-kren-May-th).

Let's get one thing straight though. I refuse to change my first name. It's taken me years to be comfortable with it and to have my friends call me that (not some warped version of it) and Hey!

It's fucking Bellisant?!?! It's so cool I don't need to add any numbers to it be an appropriate username.

As stripped of my individuality I may feel by the prospect of changing my last name in theatrical society, that feeling would be magnetized too greatly if I resorted to simplifying it even more.So it's staying.

Despite this, I was frustrated by this warranted news flash.

I hadn't necessarily loved my last name (or even my first name). I had always been aware of it's unpronounce-ability. It's been pronounced Cock-ren. Co-Core-ren. Math-ay. Mathy. Or just plain Math.

But it's my name. And even more so, It's my last name. I know a lot of people feel more defined by their first name than last, but I still have a connection to it. It serves as a banner for mothers who want their last name represented and not eliminated due to marriage. The "corcoran" also has a family story behind it.*

Besides the sentimental issues I'm running into I also need to assess the more practical points.

I really don't want to have to change my name legally since it will be a pain, but I know there may well be issues when it comes to getting paid for an acting gig or even (as one article mentioned) getting into doorman monitored studio spaces. So maybe it's too much of a hassle.

But the last few weeks since this workshop, I've been combing my mind for good last names.

I've delved into my favorite movies: Philadelphia Story...how about Lord? Or Haven? "Macaulay Connor's no home-spun tag, my pet."

Favorite books: Poirot = Bellisant Hastings (this is my choice only if I had a friend who could mutter in David Suchet's voice, "My dear Hastings.")

Irish heritage sites...French heritage sites...neither culture has the most pronounceable for 'Mericans.

It was fun coming up with them. And it was facinating to say the name out loud and immediately make a face of "meh" and chuck it off the jetty.

The sound of the name was so important as to whether it was considered or not. And mental connotations were a factor too (names can be like Rorschach tests).

All this has been surging in my mind and I've decided that I'm not going to risk going into an audition and fucking up my own name, "My name is Bellisant Cor...no, Langely."

So for now, I'll shorten it. Corcoran will do.

And everybody just better learn to pronounce it.

P.S. My mother says I'm not being foul-mouthed enough to warrant that self-proclaimed title for my blog. So this is for her...

FUCK 'EM!

*I shouldn't be a "corcoran". It was the name of my grandfather's step-father. I should in fact be a "Proulx" (pronounced "prue")...so another pronunciation nightmare for an audition monitor.